Today I feel uneasy, like the desk has tipped over and all my papers are strewn on the floor. I am stressed by a bunch of little financial hiccups I am trying to sort through - between moving downtown and leaving the country for two weeks, my bills are in a state of disarray. I missed one payment all together, so one credit card has ballooned into this horrifying pool of unpaid debt that I want to cover with a plastic tarp of willful ignorance rather than buck up and pay using the pool-cleaning implements of maturity, fiscal prudence, and manliness.
And I've been trying to pay more bills online (saving on stamps and checks -- excuse me, cheques) which has already led to one late bill. Yesterday I tried to pay another one, I clicked it, everything seemed fine, and yet! The charges remain apparently unpaid. To try to sort this out I have been setting up special online accounts for every fucking credit card and regular payment I have -- cable, electric, cell phone, etc. So now, all I have to do to get my information is log in, using my name and one of 24 passwords I've devised for myself. And the best part is when I fail to log in correctly three times in a row, and the watchful and benevolent website decides to LOCK ME OUT of my account. For my own security, you know. Wonderful!
Anyways, I figure it will take a billing cycle or so to get this all straightened out. But I'll be fine - a couple of paychecks, a few smooth weeks of bill-paying, and I'm back on the straight and narrow. But what happened to me? I was the responsible one! I was the one who clucked with fake sympathy when other people told me about shit like this!
So much for my sterling credit. No homeownership for me - not now, not ever.