Dear David Remnick,
I recently received my copy of The New Yorker, the issue dated April 25, 2005, with a somewhat bizarre Istvan Banyai mixed-media image on the cover. As Mr. Banyai happens to be one of my favorite artists in your employ, I had high hopes for what has become my favorite magazine (following in the hallowed footsteps of Highlights for Children, Ranger Rick, Boys' Life, Newsweek, Vibe, and, for one excruciatingly boring afternoon in 1987, Women's Wear Daily).
But little did I know, as I perused the new issue, that there were shocking changes in store. Frankly, my good sir, the 'Goings on About Town' section was in shambles. A haphazard, poorly organized 'This Week' sublisting. Boring three-column organization leaning too heavily on 'Critic's Notebooks' and varying font sizes. Blocky paragraph text where nice, orderly listings used to be. The removal of 'Auctions and Antiques' as its own subheading - sure, no one reads it, but I used to skim this section, to see whose estate was on the block and which collection of Faberge eggs and porcelain scabbards would become available in the coming week. And finally, adding a wretched symmetry to 'This Week,' we can now welcome 'On the Horizon,' a completely unhelpful preview of one movie, one exhibit, one concert, one spectacle to see in the weeks ahead.
Thanks, David Remnick. Really, this was awesome. Like the bastard child of Sunday Arts & Leisure and Time Out New York, with an assisting hand lent by TV Guide and Personality Parade.
And of course, most egregiously, this issue does not include a short story. No fiction. Whither the poor ingenues of Bread Loaf and Sewanee! This is unacceptable.
New Yorker subscribers are known to be a little... twitchy about their magazine, and I acknowledge that this is true. Get right, David Remnick, or you'll send me into the welcoming arms of the Atlantic.