Wednesday, February 16, 2011

She's just not that into me

We're in a depressing little trough where Alice is just not that into me.  Not a lot of smiles, or interest, or engagement.  What I hope will be cute or funny usually turn out to be annoying.  I will try to tickle her or kiss on her stomach or something, and she tries to push me away, preening to the side to get away and find her mama.  Oftentimes I'll be holding her and her neck is swiveling around, trying to find L.  Once she spots her she lunges in her direction, grunting in a way that is one part whine and one part command, until I move close enough so that Alice can reach up to her.  Our touching family moments now consistent of Alice hugging L, while I hold on to Alice's lower body.  It's pretty pathetic.

I'm trying not to be bothered by this but it is frustrating.  It reminds me of the period when the baby would be at her fussiest when I came home from work.  To her credit, she has been fighting various viruses, infections and rashes for the better part of three weeks now, but I don't know what I have to do to get a smile around here.  It's a little discouraging. 


Ellen said...

We had some of this when our firstborn, Seth, was a baby. He would prefer me (understandable, since I was his only source of food), but David was determined that this would not continue.

So...I would give him to David, he would whine and fuss for me, and I would leave the room or David would leave the room. It was Daddy or nobody. This wasn't fun at first, but it worked faster than we thought it would.

He decided that Daddy was great after all, and it wasn't long before both of us were equally good at meeting his needs, consoling him, etc. That has continued until this day, and he's now 4. I highly recommend this approach... it worked for us.

Brianna said...

Oh, Michael, I'm sorry. You know it's just a phase, but isn't it so depressing when they reject you? Sebastian has gone through both Daddy and Mommy stages, and I always feel so crummy when he doesn't want me.

We do find that Seb tends to latch on to whichever one of us has spent more time with him in the very recent past. So maybe you should give L a day to visit friends and do her own thing, and see if you can shift Alice's loyalties a bit.

chg7 at said...

hey. I sense linkage between your 2/8 and 2/16 posts. the choices we make make us. be well, chg